If your kids are on MySpace, what kind of rules have you set?  Is their profile public or private?  What do you know about their online friends, and is that different from how much you know about the ones you meet in person?

These are all great questions posed in a recent Newsweek article. Some of the advice shared is that parents have their own account so they communicate with their kids in this fashion.  I’d be curious if any have you have done that?  Of course you would need to be honest about your identity, not pose as a peer like Lynette did on Desperate Housewives.

One doctor contacted several teens who had posted suggestive material.  She was upfront about who she was and offered education about the ramifications of such postings.  Checking back, some of the kids actually removed material and admitted they did not know they had a “public” account.  Of course others told her to “mind her own business,” but still, it was an interesting experiment.  We think kids know everything about social networking sites.  Yet, some clearly are quite ignorant about the long-lasting damage of posting nude pictures.

Check out the article and tell me what you think.  I’d love to hear your parenting concerns, advice, and experiences!

In the latest episode of the Biggest Loser the medical doctor reminded some of the contestants about the medications they needed just three weeks prior.  One man in his late 20’s was on ten medications a day!  The cost was nearly $20,000 a year for another.  The meds were so numerous, I didn’t catch them all, but some of the list included pills for depression, high blood pressure, and cholesterol.  And, now they are off them all.

This underscores one of my frustrations about the state of our health insurance.  It’s something I have to deal with every day as I try to help clients navigate their mental health benefits.  There’s always someone who is stuck in a plan with an exorbitant co-pay or limited sessions.  It doesn’t seem fair.  Here’s the really frustrating part:  The reason these costs are so high in the first place is due to largely CONTROLLABLE factors!

Just like on the Biggest Loser, if we as a nation would be willing to pay attention to what we eat, monitor weight, get enough sleep, refrain from smoking, and manage stress through exercise, our entire healthcare system would turn upside down.  Really.  If we put more effort into controlling those areas, then patients with life-threatening illnesses caused by uncontrollable factors could afford the care they needed.

I hear people justify unhealthy lifestyle choices all the time - “Hey, it’s my body, I can do what I want.”  True.  But when you enter the hospital for that heart attack - we all pay the price.  If we fail to make the changes we need to, we are all the biggest loser.

Here’s a terrific article on what we know to be true:  Eating meals as a family helps children become better listeners, learners, and communicators.  Researchers have found that children increase their vocabulary and learn the skills of conversation when engaged in family discussions.

One of the things I find children lack is confidence in their communication skills (my own child included).  It takes practice to know how to listen, enter a conversation, and how to comment.  Without these skills, children really suffer.  All the other academics suffer if kids can’t ask questions, speak up for themselves, or express their ideas.

This article also provides some great conversation games to play at the table, including letting kids choose the topic.  Start that “conversation box” today!  Not only will your kids become better conversationalists, they’ll feel more connected to their family, resulting in an even greater sense of confidence!

I attended the Q104 Bridal Fair this weekend as my daughter was modeling a couple of junior bridesmaid dresses.  The last bridal fair I attended was nearly 18 years ago when I was engaged.  Even then, the whole process was overwhelming.

I had actually attended very few weddings by the time I was engaged at 27 - maybe two.  My mom was left in a vegetative state from a stroke when I was 12, and I had few women in my family.  So growing up thinking about weddings was not on my radar screen.  I didn’t have a clue about what I wanted, nor did I care too much.  When I saw all the choices available to brides and I just couldn’t believe anyone had thought so much about things like table settings, flowers, and invitation fonts.

It was interesting for me to watch the brides-to-be get involved in yesterday’s show.  They were taking meticulous notes, sampling cake, and entering drawings.  There were so many choices available.  The thing I’ve found about choices though, the more there are, the more difficult it seems to be to make a decision.  This is not just my observation though, researchers have found that most of freeze up when there are too many options (read The Paradox of Choice).  We become filled with anxiety about making the wrong choice, so we do nothing.  (Many people stopped investing in their company’s 401-K because they had so many options, they couldn’t decided on the best one, so they did nothing.)

You can see this in action with our children.  Offer 2-3 choices, and decisions come fast and easy.  Pile on the options and kids hem and haw while life passes them by.  (Fill out any college applications lately?).  Present me with a dinner menu with 27 entrees and it will take me a long time to order.  Give me three entrees - I’m good in five minutes or less.  I’m not surprised I was able to plan my wedding so quickly.  Had I not been saved by ignorance, who knows how much anxiety I would have experienced?

There’s beauty in simplicity.  Life was easier without so many TV channels.  There’s a lot more time for living when you’re not bogged down with so options on how to do it.

My friend at work is pulling his hair out.  His daughter has been accepted at Northwestern and has her heart set on attending the private school.  But, she has no college savings and he tells me they can’t afford the $40,000 a year it will cost them without going into debt.  Not many of us could!  He’s stressed, upset, and feeling resentful that he may have to sacrifice so much for four years.  Meanwhile, he also tells me he regrets not making his daughter start her own savings account sooner (sooner than halfway through her senior year).

Maybe you’re feeling the same pain.  How to pay for college when there’s just not enough money?  Is it worth going into debt?  I think about the same things as we are in the prime saving years for our daughter, yet her college fund has dropped in value by 50%.  I can only hope that the stock market will have recovered in nine years.

That doesn’t help families right now who are needing to make some important decisions.  How much financial information should you share with your child?  I can’t think of a better education than real life.  As we prepare our children for financial independence, this is a great opportunity to partner with them about the realities of living within our means.

There are so many colleges and opportunities out there!  Some students need to be a lot more flexible in their choices, for sure.  College is what you make of it, no matter where you attend.  Maybe a fancy name will get you in the door somewhere, but in the end, it’s your own performance that makes the difference.  I don’t know about you, but  I can count on one hand the number of times I’ve been asked about my college background.  Most professional questions I receive are about my recent work or positions.

From listening to my friend, I can also hear how important it is to talk about how your family plans to pay for college.  Set the expectations early.  If you expect your child to pay for some of it, do they know that right now?  How much money will they need to come up with?  Is your family hoping for a scholarship?  What happens if that falls through?  Help your child open a bank account TODAY.  There are a multitude of lessons that can be learned from making deposits and balancing a bank statement.

I hate to see my friend suffer so much over the anxiety of paying for college.  The least I can do is to heed his advice so that the same thing doesn’t happen to me.